Love Is a Redacted Door
by Jen Six
Summary: Token High School AU, icest, in which everyone has powers and the English language is powerless to advance the story. Elsa and Anna were separated at birth (because why not?), and... Yeah, whatever. I give up. Rated for language and the inevitable moment where something bad happens to Kristoff.
1. The Beginning

Anna rolled out of bed, and patted her mess of hair gingerly. Today she was starting her very first last day of school at her very first last new school, because her father was a meanie mcstinky face who liked to change jobs for virtually no reason. Oh, and he was a mega-billionaire who liked to get on a boat and leave his family for months at a time, while Anna's mom was left running the family business. Oh, and Anna's mom has like, zero aptitude for the family business, because it's not her family business. Her family business (Anna's mom's, not _Anna's,_ oh my gosh that would be insane!) was Nordic fishing, while Anna's dad's family business was doing some sort of business hokey-pokey where he turned himself around and pulled a Tywin Lannister and shat gold.

Anna Arendelle was a nineteen year old strawberry blonde pseudo-ginger, because of the freckles, and she was totally self-conscious because the stupid freckles went into all sorts of inappropriate places. Never mind that her skin kept her *alive,* sheesh. Her measurements were [redacted], and her boyfriend Hans was always telling her to [redacted.] Not that she listened to him, oh golly gee no. Anna was a true Lady, not a [redacted]. Oh, and Anna was nineteen and a senior because she got held back in Kindergarten because she couldn't read that good, having dyslexia or Irlin's Syndrome or some reading disorder, but it had magically gotten better because reading specialists are full of a bunch of froufrou-ey nonsense, even if _actual _reading specialists are amazing and should make more.

Throughout all of that mystic exposition, Anna managed to get completely dressed and ready for school in less than five minutes, with nary a hair out of place. Despite nearly all girls shouting that it was impossible to create two perfectly centered ginger pigtail braids, brush teeth, wash one's face, and apply make-up in that time, Anna somehow manages to do it. She was out the door wearing her silver high heel shoes in a flash, before pivoting and saying "I wish I was at school right now!"...

...and magically appearing.

* * *

Anna didn't like letting people know she had magic wormhole jumping powers, because they always asked for favors. Like, the one time Kristoff need to [redacted], and his pet reindeer Sven wouldn't [redacted]. So, she tried to keep it on the down-low, which naturally meant that all the students that she had never met before instantly knew, using the teenage collective hive-mind, as well as all of the faculty and staff under the age of 30.

So, as she walked into Chemistry and took her seat with her lab partner, Hans, who had followed her move cross-country just to _be _with her, and to know her in the biblical sense, she took a seat near the front, where a blonde chick was sitting at the teacher's desk, typing on the teacher's computer.

"Man, she's hot," Anna said out-loud, before looking over and Hans, covering her mouth with her hand, and giggling.

"Yeah, if I was single, I'd tap that," Hans agreed.

"Don't talk like that, Hans! It's disgusting!" Anna argued.

"You're right, Anna darling, I'm too much of a suave gentleman, and heir to a business empire that specializes in dealing with the underground. I can't be caught fawning over such a fine piece of [redacted] when I have my own sitting right here besides me."

In reality, like, Hans was thinking, _I just want to fucking murder this [redacted]. She's a [redacted], and the only reason I'm still with her is that my father told me he'll have the real love of my life, Belle [Insert Generic French Surname Here] tortured and murdered if I don't. Golly gee whiz, I just can't wait to be King! ... Wait, what?_

The blonde chick chose that time to stand up, and stand in front of the class. With practically perfect posture (as well as a practically perfect posterior, Anna noted, having used her x-ray vision), the blonde cleared her throat and said, "Good morning. My name is Ms. Arendelle, and I will be your Chemistry teacher for this term. Yes, I'm only 22 and I was given up and raised by [redacted] immigrants, but don't let that fool you-I have two Ph.D's, and I'm a Pastafarian. That being said, my unusual intelligence and religious affiliations means that I can smell marijuana, cigarettes, and alcohol on you a quarter of a mile away, and the only thing I like less than a student trying to take a final while stoned is a student trying to send dirty text messages to their girlfriend while in class. Mr. Westerguard, please put your phone away _now."_

Hans put his phone away, but not before sending the offending [redacted] pic off to Ariel [Do Mermaids even have surnames?]. Her phone went off, and Ms. Arendelle held out her hand to take up the phone. Ariel clucked her tongue and said "Oh no you di'in't!" at the top of her underdeveloped lungs, and swung her hips wildly to like, totally give her phone to Ms. Arendelle. Ms. Arendelle took one look at the picture, and at the sender, and said, "Mr. Westerguard, Ms. [Do Mermaids even have surnames?], I will be giving this phone to Mr. Weselton so that he can look through it after school. For your sakes, I do hope you are _both_ eighteen, seeing as if you were younger, this would constitute child pornography-even if it's legal for you two to bone in person."

Anna shot Hans a Death Glare. How dare he cheat on her with that red-headed [redacted]! And for the rest of the lesson, Anna was less than a model student, busy staring at Ms. Arendelle's [redacted], as well as fervently [redacted]. When class was over, Anna waited for the rest of the class to scamper off to their next boring class, while Anna waited behind because Ms. Arendelle somehow conveniently had her conference period during second period (which is a terrible time to have a conference, imho). "So... Were you adopted by Arendelles, or something?" Anna asked coyly, biting on her bottom lip and twirling her hair around her finger.

_This kid needs to work on her seduction techniques,_ Ms. Arendelle thought. _She's about as obvious as Bill Clinton in a room full of horny White House interns._

"No, Arendelle was my surname. My parents gave me up because of a scandal, although I know all about it from my other parents. They saved the newspaper clippings. You must be Anna, then."

Anna nodded before smiling. "You know, it's such a shame that you're my teacher. I'd _love_ to get to know you better."

"Actually, I'm your older sister, Elsa. And we will be getting to know each other better. We won't be [redacted], though. Get to class. I don't see how your old school promoted you out of fifth grade, with math scores like these."

And with that, Anna teleported away.

**A/N: I set out to make the most cringe-worthy Elsanna Modern AU fic imaginable, with some of the most ****overused**** commonly used plot devices out there, following a 9 chapter template that I may or may not have made in a fit of insanity. Yes, I can write better than this, but I'm choosing not to.**


	2. What's a Fourth Wall?

**A/N: I only regret that this fic can only have 9 chapters in it**

Chapter 2: The useless angst chapter that always portrays Elsa as being a lesbian who can't forge meaningful relationships with men, or with women that are emotionally stable.

Elsa sighed, hefting the stack of papers in her hand, and balancing a glass of cheap red wine in the other. She plopped down on her run-down sofa that she picked up at Ikea on sale for the ungodly price of $59.98 plus assembly fees, and took a look at the first paper.

_Damn, I probably shouldn't be grading these on an empty stomach._

The first paper made Elsa really question her faith in humanity.

_1. How does soap clean?_

And the answer, from Hans Westerguard, no less: _Scrubin bubls_

Elsa didn't even want to know how her own class had homework that was completed before the first day, especially when it wasn't a [redacted] class. Anna's paper wasn't much better.

_5. Is it possible to turn gold into lead?_

_If your rich enoughs ure._

So, Elsa did the one thing that she could think to do—She called her ex-girlfriend, Meg [Of Vaguely Greek Origin], and proceeded to have the single most illegal conversation of her teaching career.

"Hi, Meg, sorry to bother you, but I was going over these Chemistry papers and you wouldn't believe—Oh, that's nice, did you tell Herc to jack off somewhere? Anyways, I met my kid sister as she was trying to hit on me—Meg! Why the fuck would I take pictures of something like that? She's my _sister_!—and I just got through grading her paper, and—calm down, what do you mean you just got out of jail? Didn't I tell you to stay away from Herc? He killed his last wife and children, after all, even if the law calls it vehicular manslaughter—Seriously, Meg! Anna put down that you write a hydroxide molecule as HO, HO, HO—No, not _you_, I'm speaking in second tense!—Whatever, she's diagnosed with developmental dyspraxia, but that's a load of nonsense from what I've seen of her in class—Don't chide me on being a medical doctor, but that little [redacted] is perfectly healthy—Wait, what? Why the [redacted] would I come over to meet your family for supper tonight? You live over three thousand miles away, and I've got work tomorrow. No, I am not going to call into work just so we can [redacted]. Oh, go rot in jail for all I care. [Redacted] you, and [redacted]."

Elsa then gave every student in her class a random grade, using a bell curve and handwriting neatness as the only criteria, which gave Ariel [Do Mermaids even have surnames?] the highest grade in the class, even though her answer to every question was "Fluffy Bunnies" and "My father has more money than your father." Following this, Elsa drank the rest of her bottle of wine, chased it with a handle of 190-proof Everclear, smoked two joints, took half a bottle of sleeping pills, and went to bed.

* * *

The next day in Chemistry, Anna waited patiently for the other Arendelle sister to show up, although instead of halting her incestuous lesbian pursuit, she upped her game, wearing the sluttiest clothes she could possibly find and still be in dress code. That's right, that [redacted] Principal Weselton liked to enforce _dress code, _and ignore other issues, like confidentiality and bullying.

This next paragraph is supposed to be a long and detailed description of Anna dressing like a prostitute. However, the author has absolutely no energy to describe the exact shade of coral her tank top was, or how tightly woven her fishnet stockings were, or the [redacted] height of her high heel shoes.

Just as the bell rang, Elsa stumbled into classroom, clutching onto the homework papers as if her life depended on it. She wore dark sunglasses as well as a wide-brimmed black hat, threw the papers at Anna, and told the class firmly, "Shit down and shut [redacted] up."

This statement, of course, caused a few snickers from the class.

"I'm [redacted] warning you, I'll [redacted] you up if you don't shut up," Elsa yelled again.

Anna raised her hand.

"What is it, you carpet-munching incestuous hooker?" Elsa growled.

"Ms. A—I can call you Ms. A, right?—Are you high?"

"Detention, Arendelle. Detention for the rest of the [redacted] month."

* * *

Elsa nursed her hangover the rest of the day, while Anna had small, gossipy talk with her friends that does nothing for the story other than to add length, because the Real Sign of a True Fanfiction is meeting a certain number of words per paragraph.

Anna returned to Elsa's room after school, and sat down on her desk, because they were like, totally gonna screw if Anna had anything to say about it, oh my gosh.

Elsa took one look at the preppy, slutty girl and spat, "What is _wrong_ with you?"

Anna shrugged. "I've been emotionally neglected my entire life, and I'm desperate for affection from anyone. Also, my father beats me and my mother videotapes the whole thing, and I just want to kill myself."

Elsa groaned. "You shouldn't be joking about things like that."

**[PSA: If this had been real life and Anna had confessed this to anyone with an educator's certificate, that person (Elsa, in this case) would have had 48 hours to report the incident to protective services, or risk losing their certificate. Then again, if this had been real life and occurred in the state of the author's residence, Elsa would eventually be going to jail for engaging in a sexual relationship with a student, regardless of age. It's a 2nd degree felony here for an educator to do a student, even if the student is legal, unrelated, and consenting. Furthermore, if Elsa had shown up to work like this, eventually the district would "convince" Elsa to resign in the middle of the year, forcing her to lose her job _before_ she could commit a felony.]**

Anna laughed. "At least this is the point where I take a serious issue, like depression, and try to trivialize it into either being suicidal, or just plain emo. It's like the authors of these things haven't ever been around someone who's depressed and doesn't realize it."

"Oh, just sit down and start writing your [redacted] apology so that we can go home."

"…Together?"

"No, Anna. I'm having dinner with your family on Saturday, and not a day before then."

"Okay. Well, I'll just have to go home to an abusive situation and you get to go back to your place and do all your fancy schmancy drugs. Can I have some?"

"No, Anna."

"Please?"

"Just say no to drugs, Anna."

"You're a [redacted] hypocrite."

"You have detention."

"Doesn't change that you're not a hypocrite, and you know I'm right."

Peturbed, Elsa gave Anna the end-of-course exam that wouldn't actually be completed until a day before she had to run off copies and told her to do it.

_Fifteen minutes later…_

"I'm done, Ms. A!"

And sure enough, when Elsa checked Anna's homework, everything was completely correct. Elsa bit her lip and rolled her eyes. "How'd you cheat on this?"

Anna giggled. "I'll never tell. A Lady never reveals her secrets."

"…Pretty sure that's a hooker that never reveals her [redacted]. So, what'd you do? Steal this before detention today and memorized the whole thing?"

"No, I prayed to Odin, and He Delivered."

A crackling sound over the PA interrupted Elsa's floundering interrogation. _"Anna Arendelle, please report to the main office immediately. Anna Arendelle, to the main office immediately."_


	3. Rubber Ducky

Chapter 3: The fluff chapter.

AKA, The Word Count Never Bothered Me Anyways.

**A/N: The author's writings over on /r/Frozen should prove the point that she can't fucking write fluff, but the outline calls for the fluff chapter at 3 in order to save readers since there's been no kiss or frick frack yet.**

Anna died a bit as Principal Weselton handed her a tutoring notice—for Anna to participate in, not for Anna to teach, oh God that would be fucking terrible, she was always a lousy student—and telling her that one of those subjects would be Chemistry, until her grades improved.

Anna snickered, and made a silent vow to tank _every _test, for another moment with Elsa.

* * *

It just wasn't _fair._ Her parents demanded that Anna eat at the fucking dinner table once a [redacted] week, even if both of her parents were gone on business for a month at a time—her [redacted] father _demanded _that she use a [redacted] webcam, to make certain that Anna wasn't a Liar (with a capitol L, not to be confused with the grammatically correct _capital.)_

Today wasn't one of those blessed dinners where her parents were both gone on business—they were both _here._ And they were here with _Elsa._ That smoking hot, drop dead gorgeous Chemistry teacher that she wanted to do some extra credit for was sitting right next to her, and the long tablecloth completely hid Anna's left hand from view. If it hadn't been for the tablecloth, someone would ask questions. Namely, why the [redacted] was Anna's hand literally frozen to the bottom of the table?

That didn't stop Anna from giving Elsa _the look._ You know, the one that's, like totally inappropriate for a dinner conversation with your parents, much less both of your parents? But, if David or Leslie Arendelle noticed (because who the fuck goes by Akthar and Idunn these days?), they said nothing about it, until…

"Elsa, you have nice lips," Anna blurted out. Anna does a lot of blurting. Yes, I just [redacted] on you. Grammar [redacted], get over it.

Elsa had the shame to blush. "I.. uh…"

"They're fuller! So plump and moist…"

"Anna, please stop," Elsa begged.

"Anna, sweetie, it's nice that you've finally found a _respectable_ person to lust after, but don't do it at the dinner table," David said nonchalantly.

"Yes, dear, courtship's so much more fun when you're having to sneak around because you're trying to be intimate with your brother," Leslie agreed.

"What the hell is wrong with you people?" Elsa all but screeched. "You.. you two fucking [redacted]?"

"Naturally. Why do you think you both have magic powers? That shit sure as hell didn't fuckin' arrive because storks delivered you. And people say a lack of genetic diversity is a bad thing…"

Elsa stared in horror as her father/uncle started making out with her mother/aunt, who in turn had just blessed Anna's pursuit of her sister/cousin.

_And this is why incest is fucking illegal…_

* * *

After dinner, Elsa retreated to the guest room she was expected to occupy for the next eight to ten hours, and locked the door. She then went into the attached bathroom, and locked _that _door, for good measure. Sure, those [redacted] that she had to call family had mentioned that they both had powers, but while ice was strong, it could only act so quickly. Maybe two locked doors would be able to keep her sister out, For Good.

Elsa [redacted] slowly, and then entered the steaming hot water and sat down. Just as she was working shampoo into her hair, she heard a familiar voice, "Wow, you've got nice tits, too."

Elsa splashed and floundered and shrieked, her face turning Fifty Shades of red. "You're worse than a fuckin' Twilight fanfic," Elsa spat venomously.

"Do you wanna be a Cobra?" Anna sung?

"Go fuck yourself," Elsa said.

"You know, there's a fine line between love and hate. Sooner or later, you're going to realize that your deep-seated hatred towards me is self-loathing because you're gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that, I think you're one fine piece of ass myself…"

Elsa ducked her hair under the water, and then whipped it back up, splashing some of the soapy, hot water into Anna's eyes. While the red-headed lunatic rubbed at her eyes, Elsa turned the water back on, quickly finished getting the rest of the shampoo out of her hair (because it's like more than half of the writers of bath scenes have never tried to take a bath with long hair before. You don't get all the soap out if you just dunk your head under, people. When in doubt, ask someone with some hair.), and then hopped out of the bathroom.

Anna, however, had pulled the rug away.

With a resounding _twack_, Elsa landed flat on her bottom, avoiding slamming her head into any of the surrounding bathroom fixtures that would have caused more serious damage. Elsa hurriedly pulled herself together, and by the time Anna was done saving her eyesight, Elsa had a towel wrapped around her torso.

Just a towel.

"Look here," Elsa said, and Anna's eyes immediately traveled to Elsa's chest. "No, in my eyes, you [redacted]. You can't just assume that because I'm not married and because you want me that I want you in return."

"Aw, how sweet! You want me!"

"I never said that! I don't want you, I don't want anything to do with you if you're going to act like this! You have been objectifying me ever since we first met. That's worse than anything any of my _real_ partners have done."

"What was her name?" Anna asked. "Your one real partner."

Elsa grumbled. "There's been two. Meg was a mistake—"

"Ha! You are a lesbian!"

"And Jack was sweet, he just died when we were both seventeen."

"…Wait, what?"

"… It _is_ possible, in the current day and age, to be _bisexual._"

"So… you're gay?"

"No."

"Ew! So you're a slut!"

"… I hardly see how having two serious relationships makes me a slut."

"Well, surely you slept with other people in between?" Anna asked innocently.

"Wait, _what?"_

"Oh, come on, Hans and I used to do it all the time, before he proposed to me."

"… Are you serious?"

"I accepted, of course."

"… There's no point in getting married while in high school…"

"And then we had a threesome with Kristoff. You've met Kristoff, right?"

"…I did not need to know that…"

"Anyways, Hans got jealous because I had a pregnancy scare afterwards, and"

"…Who the hell has sex in high school without using a condom these days?..."

"And anyways, we agreed to stop playing the field. Thank you for outing him in class, because otherwise he'd just lie and slap me around a little bit—"

"…And you're _okay_ with being hit?...

"Oh, sure, yeah! Since violence against women is both severe and an overused trope in Angst/Drama fan fics."

"…Did you get dropped on your head when you were little?..."

"But this way, he can't deny a thing, so I'm A-O-Kay!"

"… I don't think that's how you spell that…"

Anna seized the moment of Elsa's distraction to teleport over and give her sister a hug, while simultaneously trying to disrobe her. Just as she was about to succeed, a path of frost from where Elsa was standing to the bathroom door magically appeared, and Anna slipped, hitting her head against the sink.

Elsa left her there long enough to get dressed and to thaw the ice, before having the good grace to inform her parents/aunt and uncle of their daughter/niece's plight.


	4. Uncle Kristoff

Chapter 4: Oh crap, you forgot to add plot until you were halfway done with the fic.

**A/N: Not too happy with this chapter, tried to spit something out before I go missing for a week and a half.**

Elsa and Anna had come to an arrangement, so to speak, regarding the feistypants' ickle tutoring. Once a week, they would meet for the appointed hour after school, and if Anna kept her hands to herself and made no inappropriate come-ons to Elsa, Elsa would give her a pass and fudge the grades to allow Anna to actually pass with a low B. If Anna so much as whistled at Elsa, Anna was required to do all the work she would normally be required to do, as well as work on memorizing formulas.

Six weeks into tutoring, Anna had kept herself under control _once, _and her grade was sitting at a dismal 37. Unfortunately for Elsa, this was improvement, so Principal Weselton [redacted] her in front of the entire faculty for her commitment and dedication to student performance.

And lo, on the seventh week, all hell hath broken loose.

Elsa was tutoring Anna as before, and the usual way, too—Anna was kept at the opposite corner of the room, as far away from Elsa and the door as she possibly could be, and Elsa would use her ice cream powers to create pneumatic tubes to send Anna her work—when Elsa looked away, for just a moment. Anna then decided to use her magical wormhole powers and leapt into Elsa's unsuspecting lap, knocking the professional onto the ground.

"What the—Get off of me!" Elsa shouted. "What the [redacted] is your problem?"

Anna giggled and started tickling Elsa's sides, because _that's _exactly what a sane 19 year old woman-child would do.

Elsa's screams of torment drifted down the hallway, alerting the only other person in the building that there was some funny business going on in the Chem lab. Kristoff Bjorgman gallantly galloped his way down the corridors, much like a valiant reindeer king, if reindeer had kings and if the strange pungent odor disappeared. "Whoah!" sez Kristoff, sezee, as he stuck his head in the door just in time to see Anna successfully pulling off Elsa's shirt.

Anna immediately teleported over to Kristoff, and snapped her fingers together, causing her to fucking light on fire. It wasn't just her hands, either—she lit up worse than a Christmas tree covered in hairspray.

"Whoah!" sez Kristoff, sezee.

"Blood for the Blood God!" Anna shouted, and charged.

"…Wrong fandom…" Elsa muttered, before throwing a snowball at her sister. Kristoff ducked.

The snowball absorbed its way in between Anna's shoulder blades, and the girl shrieked as she reverted back into non-crispy mode. "[Redacted]!" Anna shrieked again.

"…Just… stop, Anna," Elsa pleaded.

"Skulls for the Skull Throne!" Anna shrieked. And shrieked. And shrieked.

"Whoah!" sez Kristoff, sezee.

"Eulalia!" Anna shrieked.

"Whoah!" sez Kristoff, sezee.

"… Are you a fucking [redacted]?" Elsa asked, incredulity heavily laced in her voice.

Kristoff chose this moment to run away, and Anna chose this moment to stop shrieking, because really, that's the only word that can describe Anna when she's being a bitch. Elsa, naturally, chose this moment to get her shirt back on. The blonde then rounded on the younger girl, steam literally coming out of her ears.

Remember boys and girls, incest is bad. Especially when it causes cartoon vapor to become a Thing.

Anna closed the door behind her, and grumbled, "Stupid smelly boys."

"Anna, this has got to end!" Elsa yelled. "What do I have to do, to convince you to quit assaulting me, to quit molesting me, and to quit trying to get me fired?"

"Oh, so _that's_ your priority! You just don't want to lose your job over True Love!"

"… No. I don't want to engage in a sexual relationship with my sister, who also happens to be in a position to get me fired. What's wrong with that?"

"It's TRUE LOVE!" Anna [redacted].

Tired of Anna's antics, Elsa quickly encased Anna into an ice tomb. Anna, instead of staying put and dying of hypothermia like a normal person, teleported home, and sobbed herself dramatically to sleep.

Kristoff quickly put up his cell phone when he saw Elsa leave the classroom, but he wasn't quick enough to escape her when she saw him loitering around. "What do you want?" she snapped.

"Whoah!" sez Kristoff, sezee.

Elsa scoffed. "Don't make me call security on you, Bjorgman. What is it you're planning at?"

Kristoff dropped his hands into his pockets, "accidentally" playing the tape he recorded.

_"No, I [redacted] want to engage in a sexual relationship with my sister, who also happens to be in a position to get me fired. What's wrong with that?"_

Elsa sighed. "What do you want, Bjorgman?"

Kristoff fished into his other pocket, discarded the first item that he pulled out (a couple of larger-sized condoms), and finally settled on his progress report. He shoved the sweaty paper in Elsa's face, and pointed towards his Chemistry grade. "Whoah!" sez Kristoff, sezee.

Elsa pulled a pen from her newly-reacquainted blouse, and added an extra point to his grade, pulling every single grade on his progress report up to a 100. "Whoah!" sez Kristoff, sezee, as he galloped away.

"… That boy has to die," Elsa muttered, before locking up the Chem lab and getting on her [redacted] and going home and having [redacted] and then [redacted] before [redacted] with [redacted], although [redacted] totally happened, and then she either [redacted] or fell asleep.

The next day at school, class was unruly.

"What the fuck is all of your problems?" Elsa yelled at the class as they refused to listen to anything Elsa had to say about covalent bonds.

"You need to get laid, Ms. Arendelle," Hans supplied. "No, seriously, all that tension can't be good for you."

"Um… female hysteria treatment was the product of an unenlightened society who knew next to nothing about actually treating female emotional issues," Milo Thatch supplied. He was quickly beaten into a pulp by Ariel [Do mermaids even have surnames?].

"Whoah!" sez Kristoff, sezee.

"Detention with Mr. Frollo, Westerfuck. Now get back to your fucking worksheet."

"Whoah!" sez Kristoff, sezee.

"Bjorgman, shut the fuck up. No one likes you anways."

"Whoah!" sez Kristoff, sezee.

"… Seriously, is that all you can say? How the fuck are you even passing English?"

"Uh… Elsa?" Anna piped up. "Kristoff's from Finland."

"He's from Norway, and they teach English over there. _Very well,_ I might add."

"Well, maybe he's just one of them Rainman kinda peoplez?"

"...And you show the class how you're failing English with a 41," Elsa provided, completely ignoring that she had just openly violated three separate points of her contract (confidentially, discussing special programs, and professional language, if anyone was wondering).

"Whoah!" sez Kristoff, sezee, and his tape recording "accidentally"played.

"LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA IT'S FRIDAY, FRIDAY, GOTTA GET DOWN ON FRIDAY," Elsa yelled at the top of her lungs, to cover up Kristoff's slip up.

"I think class is dismissed," Anna said, and nobody thought to argue with her.


End file.
